After such an amazing, Spirit-filled, God-lead summer...
This semester things sure have taken a turn for the worse.
I'm at work every day for 8am. Between class, work, lifegroup, lifegroup planning, TNL, etc. etc., most days I'm lucky if I make it back home before 8pm. And THEN I can get started on the mountains of homework. I feel like I have no time to sleep, breathe, or enjoy life at all. I feel my relationships suffering because I quite literally can't find time. And because of this, I feel very, very alone. Not to mention, I complain all the time (as you can tell from this rant), I get angry easily, and I'm constantly at a level of stress that makes it impossible to do anything well. I've cried more this semester than I think I have in my whole college career so far. I've been praying, and praying, and praying... And worst of all... I. Can. Not. Feel. God.
To be quite transparent, if things keep up the way they're going now, I quite literally will not make it. I want to be good at this, but I don't know how. I don't know how to change this routine of miserableness I've gotten into. I honestly feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile for God, and that the best thing I can do at this point is just step out of the way.
Where is the optimistic, cheerful Lindsay, who loves people and doesn't get hung up on little things? I want to be that person again, but I don't... know... how.
About Me
- Lindsay Kathryn Cornwell
- Lafayette, Louisiana, United States
- All of life comes down to this: To know God and to make him known.
Sweet, sweet Lindsay... I have been the EXACT same way. I've felt terrible because I have been getting angry with people so easily and I can't even explain it other than to say that I just feel mad. I can't put my finger on what it is, but I feel empty too. The only thing that's been keeping me going is by giving up some things. It's so hard, but the most important thing when you're so overwhelmed is REST. If you're not getting rest you will always feel behind and stressed. Even if it means putting off some homework or some ministry time, REST. God set aside an entire day that we are supposed to rest... and usually we can't because we've been so busy throughout the week that we have to try to catch up on Sundays. You NEED that day... your life, your relationships, your sanity are literally depending on it. God won't be offended if you take some time off from leading ministry to be ministered to, and I truly believe that He can do that, even while we sleep and rest. I love you girl... I love your transparency. You'll make it. You really will... :)
ReplyDeleteYep I totally understand where you're coming from. I will definitely be praying for you Lindsay! Love ya girl!!!
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