Highs and Lows

      Never did I think that anything in life could have such high highs and such low lows. This week has taught me that there are definitely deep valleys and terrible days in teaching, but those days can be followed by the greatest redeeming moments that are deeply, deeply satisfying. Let me explain.

     Yesterday was one of the most difficult days I've had during student teaching. As far as actually teaching, and student involvement, everything went well. In fact, the lesson went even better than I expected. But about half way through the day, I found out that one of my boys had been arrested at school that day. In the same conversation, I learned about his horrible home life and the lies he has been told about himself over the last few years of his life, like being told that he is worthless. When I heard this news, I felt as though I had been punched in the stomach... As my third period class walked in, I tried desperately to choke back the tears I could feel coming on. I knew what happened to this student wasn't by any means my fault, but I couldn't help but hurt for him, and wonder what I might have said or done differently if I had known that it was his last day in my classroom. I couldn't help but wonder what his road will look like after this arrest. My heart broke for this little boy, who is still very much a child and yet has been robbed of his childhood.

       But like I said, the worst days of all might just be followed by the best days of all. Today was definitely proof of that. Coach and I took the students to the library to do some test prep on the computers, which meant an unusually light load for us! As the students worked, I decided to make a poster displaying some of the best student work from their last assignment. The principal even agreed to hang it in the display case near the office for all the school to see. So, when 5th period came around, I took two of the students whose work had been chosen out to the display to show them we'd chosen their work. One was a girl who has recently transferred to our school and is usually an average student at best. When she saw her work displayed for the whole school... I wish I could explain to you the overjoyed expression on her face, the jumping up and down and squealing! She kept asking, "You chose MINE?" as if she couldn't believe it. Her posture straightened up and a sense of pride and confidence was visible in her as we walked back to the library.

        I can't explain to you how it felt to see her reaction. To witness the change in her, to see shock and then joy break out across her face. It obviously made her day, and therefore made my entire week. This, to me, is affirmation at its greatest. High points like this make the low points worth it. I told her as we walked back, "Ya know, you are capable of doing that quality of work ALL the time." She gave me a sideways glance, and said, "Really?" I laughed and said, "Really."